It was the first Wednesday of September, and Dupont Circle's Bier Baron Tavern and DC Comedy Loft set the scene for the opening night of Perfect Liars Club 2019-20 Liar Spotting Season. Packed to the hilt with a sold-out crowd, the legendary watering hole was bustling with the city's alleged "Best & Brightest."
Would the season begin on a winning note for the assembled lot or would they once again be duped by the winsome words of a Perfect Liar? One thing is certain, the crowd's confidence quickly dissipated as soon as the quartet of tantalizing tales commenced:
As the stories came to a close, a seriousness enveloped the room. The audience clearly had their work cut out for them. An insightful interrogation could mean the difference between victory and failure. It did not take long for the questioning crowd to warm up:
Round and round the interrogation went, until some of Justin's ambiguous answers and cloudy recollections appeared to sway a wavering crowd. Besting his nearest competitor, Kate, by 11 votes, one thing was certain -- the audience was convinced that Justin was lying. Justine and Molly brought up the rear, with 27 and 23 votes respectively.
The drum roll sounded. The night's tellers jockeyed for position. The night's liar stepped forward. And the unmistakable cries of a defeated crowd once again filled the hall.
Molly stood before them all, a Perfect Liar unspotted. Her tale of an ill-fated wedding plagued by crickets was nothing but a craftily packaged deception.
Better luck next time, sleuthers.
Would the season begin on a winning note for the assembled lot or would they once again be duped by the winsome words of a Perfect Liar? One thing is certain, the crowd's confidence quickly dissipated as soon as the quartet of tantalizing tales commenced:
- Was high school student Justin busted by his mother for cheating on a test after she impersonated him in an online chat with his friends on AOL Messenger to uncover the truth?
- Did Peace Corps volunteer Kate narrowly escape imprisonment at a border checkpoint upon discovering that her then-boyfriend had stashed his weed supply in her backpack?
- Did college student Justine pass up a night of finals preparation to party with Busta Rhymes's Flipmode Squad at a Hyatt Regency hotel in Jacksonville, Florida?
- Was bride-to-be Molly's wedding at the Baltimore Zoo plagued by misfortune after she mistook a large package of live crickets for a box of custom flowers that she had ordered for the affair?
As the stories came to a close, a seriousness enveloped the room. The audience clearly had their work cut out for them. An insightful interrogation could mean the difference between victory and failure. It did not take long for the questioning crowd to warm up:
- Could Justin recall his AOL Screenname?
- Could Kate cite the individual who had founded the Peace Corps?
- Could Justine recall the name of a single African woman politician, since she had opted to party with the Flipmode Squad instead of studying for her "Women, Politics, and Africa" class that night?
- Why didn't Molly check the mailing label on the package of live crickets before opening the box?
Round and round the interrogation went, until some of Justin's ambiguous answers and cloudy recollections appeared to sway a wavering crowd. Besting his nearest competitor, Kate, by 11 votes, one thing was certain -- the audience was convinced that Justin was lying. Justine and Molly brought up the rear, with 27 and 23 votes respectively.
The drum roll sounded. The night's tellers jockeyed for position. The night's liar stepped forward. And the unmistakable cries of a defeated crowd once again filled the hall.
Molly stood before them all, a Perfect Liar unspotted. Her tale of an ill-fated wedding plagued by crickets was nothing but a craftily packaged deception.
Better luck next time, sleuthers.
